Argh! I have really got to let it out! I am bloody screwed for CA2... and it's not entirely my fault! My bloody PhD student is one screw-up. Having assigned to teach me how to use the equipment so that I can do my own experiments, I would have thought she would know that she should teach me how to use the equipment so that I can do my own experiments. But no... that's not her interpretation. Well, maybe they teach that differently from some other part of the world. Instead, she asks me to sit down, see what she does, and just do that. Fucked up I say. First few times ok... just see what it is all about. But now, she still wants me to do that? Furthermore, everything has to be according to her timetable. Like, if she is doing on Monday morning, then I have to go on Morning. "Oh... you have... lecture..... on Monday? Then... I won't wait for you." What the hell! Ok, that's why I say TEACH ME HOW TO DO THE STUFF ON MY OWN AND I WILL FUCK OFF. My CA2 is just around the corner and I'm still sitting around watching her do crap. I don't even have my own targets and substrates! How screwed up is that? Why can't she just spend a few hours teaching me how to use the PLD equipment and then that's it. I don't have to bug her anymore. Just teach me how to lower the pressure, increase the temperature, insert the target and substrate, and I can do my own experiments? Goddamn.... a few more weeks till CA2 and I have ZERO results. I'm fucked man.

So, this week, the laser does not have enough energy. Sounds familiar. But strange, I saw Jenny Lum using the laser yesterday morning, and it seemed ok. Come to think of it, her excuse last time that the laser wasn't working, and me bumping into her going to the laser was kind of coincidental huh. Starting to be suspicious. Maybe she is trying to get me off her back. Fuck... now I'm getting pissed. She's trying to fuck up my FYP. I've got a good mind to complain to TeoKL.

Everybody is getting on with their own FYP. I can't because I don't know how to use the equipment because some fucked up scholar from some other part of the world doesn't give a shit. If I fuck up my CA2, I hope she feels real good about it, because it's all thanks to her.

I'm fucking pissed now.